Holes:
As zero and I headed up the mountain the sun landed on us like a tonne of bricks. We kept going, we were half way there and we weren’t stopping now. All of a sudden zero fell to the ground. We hadn’t eaten in 3 days and we had run out of water. Zero couldn’t get up. I knew there would be water at the top of the mountain I told him. I knew we could get there before the sun went down.
I picked up zero and we headed off to the top of the mountain were we found… Water.
Hi Sarah,
ReplyDeleteHoles really is an excellent book and you have captured the feelings of the characters well.
I like how you described the sun coming down like a 'tonne of bricks' - this really showed the heaviness and impact the sun has in the story.
Keep writing.
Rachel Wills (Team 100WC)
Hello Sarah,
ReplyDeleteYour rewrite of a scene was fascinating and resulted in a little extra research into the plot of the book you have chosen. I can understand why you have chosen "Holes". It seems to have a mix of danger and adventure while being a story of the good guys winning out in the end.
I see Rachel from Team 100WC has noted your effective use of simile when describing the mountain. Similes add to the description of scenes, characters or events. Well done. :)
The care you have taken with spelling and punctuation is obvious. The only minor suggestion I could make is to remember Zero, as it's a (proper noun) name, should have a capital letter.
I hope you keep entering the 100WC.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia